I wish I had known

The older you get , the more knowledge you accumulate and thus the wiser you become or so I’m told. We’re supposed to learn from our mistakes, and the mistakes of others, as not to make them again. We learn by applying this knowledge of the past to future troubles. Now, I know there are a lot of parents out there in the land of Blog who have been through some tough times, but I thought that perhaps you’d like a shot from the vantage point a generation closer to that of your sons and daughters. These are the things I would say to a younger me, to reassure her and give her hope. They are things younger people everywhere will feel and will be made aware of one way or another.

I wish I had known that my family are also my friends. They won’t judge me based on what I do at break time in school, they don’t care if I only wear t-shirts and jeans. They will get upset when they find out their little girl is being bullied, but not at her like she fears. They will cause a ruckus, they will talk to teachers, and most importantly, they will make it better. I wish I had known so I would have had the courage to talk to them sooner.

I wish I had known that I didn’t have to worry about friends. I wish I had known because once I’d matured more and talked to different people, I fell in with a great crowd of amazing people. In the past I tried to fit in  somewhat by copying styles and trying to be interested in the same things, but I didn’t want to try too hard because I have always scorned groups that all look exactly alike and seem to share one personality. I wasn’t the first to spend my dinner times in the library reading a book, and I won’t be the last. And that’s ok because being on your own is ok. People make it seem like a big deal if you don’t have very many friends, which is fine, providing that you’re lonely. Sometimes, some people just prefer to enjoy their own company or at least feel comfortable enough not to worry when they find themselves alone. That’s not a bad thing, just different.

I wish I had known that high school wasn’t the be all and end all. It’s easy enough to see now that I’ve left it behind, but when you are there, in the place that has been built up so much, it’s very difficult to imagine life outside of it. In high school, it’s likely that your life experience has been rather limited and so when you are thrown into this lifestyle and having all these changes thrown at you, life can seem very chaotic and heavy. Perspective is everything. If you can see and experience people treating you like you want to be treated, life is much less frustrating. I have found that one problem is that adults have all ready been through this bit, they can look back on it and know all the answers. You, on the other hand, are trapped in a cave with no real idea of what will happen to you. I wish I had known this to ease the struggle of explaining to my mum why she didn’t understand how stressed or frightened  was, or why small things seemed so huge to me.

I wish I had known all these things and more but for now, all I can do is hope that I’m able to help other people with what I learnt.


2 thoughts on “I wish I had known

  1. I knew those things, just maybe I didn’t put myself over to you very well. I had all that at school and understood so very much. But you came through and I am so proud of you.Love mum.

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